I've broken out the changes by section; a full copy of the new version is at the end. "spurious" here means that I consider the offending item to add nothing but words (ie, it doesn't mean anything, and just makes the document longer). I have attempted to locate all such things and remove them. Global changes: - Sanitise the capitalisation on the headings ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Old text: 1. Debian Will Remain 100% Free Software We promise to keep the Debian GNU/Linux Distribution entirely free software. As there are many definitions of free software, we include the guidelines we use to determine if software is "free" below. We will support our users who develop and run non-free software on Debian, but we will never make the system depend on an item of non-free software. Changes: - Expand "keep [...] entirely free software" - Adjust references to the DFSG to eliminate "below" and "include", to avoid implying it is part of the same document. Note that this is not a statement that it is distinct, merely an elimination of unnecessary implications, so that it reads better if reformatted as two documents. - Remove "As there are many definitions of free software," as spurious - Eliminate or expand inaccurate references to "software" - Expand "depend on" - Replace "run" with "use" - Replace "our users" with "people" - Expand support commitment to include free as well as non-free - Swap the first two sentences New text: 1. Debian will remain 100% free We provide the guidelines that we use to determine if a work is "free" in the document entitled "The Debian Free Software Guidelines". We promise that the Debian system and all its components will be free according to these guidelines. We will support people who create or use both free and non-free works on Debian. We will never make the system require the use of a non-free component. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Old text: 2. We Will Give Back to the Free Software Community When we write new components of the Debian system, we will license them as free software. We will make the best system we can, so that free software will be widely distributed and used. We will feed back bug-fixes, improvements, user requests, etc. to the "upstream" authors of software included in our system. Changes: - Eliminate or expand inaccurate references to "software" - Rephrase the third sentence to eliminate 'etc' - Replace "write" with "create" - Replace "components of [Debian]" with "components for [Debian]" New text: 2. We will give back to the Free Software community When we create new components for the Debian system, we will license them in a manner consistent with the Debian Free Software Guidelines. We will make the best system we can, so that free works will be widely distributed and used. We will communicate things such as bug fixes, improvements and user requests to the "upstream" authors of works included in our system. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Old text: 3. We Won't Hide Problems We will keep our entire bug-report database open for public view at all times. Reports that users file on-line will immediately become visible to others. Changes: - Fix hyphenation errors - Relax "immediately" to "promptly", to reflect reality - Expand "won't" - Replace "users" with "people" New text: 3. We will not hide problems We will keep our entire bug report database open for public view at all times. Reports that people file online will promptly become visible to others. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Old text: 4. Our Priorities are Our Users and Free Software We will be guided by the needs of our users and the free-software community. We will place their interests first in our priorities. We will support the needs of our users for operation in many different kinds of computing environment. We won't object to commercial software that is intended to run on Debian systems, and we'll allow others to create value-added distributions containing both Debian and commercial software, without any fee from us. To support these goals, we will provide an integrated system of high-quality, 100% free software, with no legal restrictions that would prevent these kinds of use. Changes: - Fix hyphenation errors - Fix pluralisation errors - Expand "won't" and "we'll" - Eliminate or expand inaccurate references to "software" - Eliminate inaccurate references to "commercial" - Remove "value-added" as spurious - Rephrase the last sentence - Replace "run" with "be used" - Capitalise "Free Software" New text: 4. Our priorities are our users and Free Software We will be guided by the needs of our users and the Free Software community. We will place their interests first in our priorities. We will support the needs of our users for operation in many different kinds of computing environments. We will not object to non-free works that are intended to be used on Debian systems, or attempt to charge a fee to people who create or use such works. We will allow others to create distributions containing both the Debian system and other works, without any fee from us. In furtherance of these goals, we will provide an integrated system of high-quality materials with no legal restrictions that would prevent such uses of the system. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Old text: 5. Programs That Don't Meet Our Free-Software Standards We acknowledge that some of our users require the use of programs that don't conform to the Debian Free Software Guidelines. We have created "contrib" and "non-free" areas in our FTP archive for this software. The software in these directories is not part of the Debian system, although it has been configured for use with Debian. We encourage CD manufacturers to read the licenses of software packages in these directories and determine if they can distribute that software on their CDs. Thus, although non-free software isn't a part of Debian, we support its use, and we provide infrastructure (such as our bug-tracking system and mailing lists) for non-free software packages. Changes: - Fix hyphenation errors - Expand "don't" and "isn't" - Eliminate inaccurate reference to FTP - Eliminate or expand inaccurate references to "software" and "programs" - Use "areas" consistently instead of both "areas" and "directories" - Change ", and we" to "and" in the last sentence - Move the parenthesised clause in the last sentence to the end New text: 5. Works that do not meet our Free Software standards We acknowledge that some of our users require the use of works that do not conform to the Debian Free Software Guidelines. We have created "contrib" and "non-free" areas in our archive for these works. The packages in these areas are not part of the Debian system, although they have been configured for use with Debian. We encourage CD manufacturers to read the licenses of the packages in these areas and determine if they can distribute the packages on their CDs. Thus, although non-free works are not a part of Debian, we support their use and provide infrastructure for non-free packages (such as our bug tracking system and mailing lists). ------------------------------------------------------------------------ New full text: 1. Debian will remain 100% free We provide the guidelines that we use to determine if a work is "free" in the document entitled "The Debian Free Software Guidelines". We promise that the Debian system and all its components will be free according to these guidelines. We will support people who create or use both free and non-free works on Debian. We will never make the system require the use of a non-free component. 2. We will give back to the Free Software community When we write new components of the Debian system, we will license them in a manner consistent with the Debian Free Software Guidelines. We will make the best system we can, so that free works will be widely distributed and used. We will communicate things such as bug fixes, improvements and user requests to the "upstream" authors of works included in our system. 3. We will not hide problems We will keep our entire bug report database open for public view at all times. Reports that people file online will promptly become visible to others. 4. Our priorities are our users and Free Software We will be guided by the needs of our users and the Free Software community. We will place their interests first in our priorities. We will support the needs of our users for operation in many different kinds of computing environments. We will not object to non-free works that are intended to be used on Debian systems, or attempt to charge a fee to people who create or use such works. We will allow others to create distributions containing both the Debian system and other works, without any fee from us. In furtherance of these goals, we will provide an integrated system of high-quality materials with no legal restrictions that would prevent such uses of the system. 5. Works that do not meet our Free Software standards We acknowledge that some of our users require the use of works that do not conform to the Debian Free Software Guidelines. We have created "contrib" and "non-free" areas in our archive for these works. The packages in these areas are not part of the Debian system, although they have been configured for use with Debian. We encourage CD manufacturers to read the licenses of the packages in these areas and determine if they can distribute the packages on their CDs. Thus, although non-free works are not a part of Debian, we support their use and provide infrastructure for non-free packages (such as our bug tracking system and mailing lists). ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Still to consider: