Re: Review request: publicity microflyer
Thanks, David - some responses inline.
On Tue, 6 Jun 2023 at 02:03, David <bouncingcats@gmail.com> wrote:
...
> I have this feedback:
>
> I think your text works fine if your reader does know what an "operating system"
> is. But if they don't, then I think your communication might be entirely unclear
> to them.
Twenty years ago, I would have agreed with you; and I think that the
reaction from people who are not engineers (then and now) is one of
two:
* Oh, I don't understand what an operating system is - can you explain
that to me? (an opportunity)
* People don't understand what operating systems are! (sometimes with
a dismissive and/or discouraging tone)
I am looking for more of the former responses, and am OK with those -
they are people who would like to learn, and I don't think that
dumbing down our message too much is appropriate. At the same time, I
don't want to overwhelm people with technical details - but I think
that it's fine to include a small amount of technical terminology.
Also: computers are everywhere nowadays, and commercial industry
itself has attempted to erase the meaning and idea of terms like
"operating system" and "web browser" - but they still very much exist
inside computers, so I think we should do our best to be honest, lest
we lose the ability to understand the technology that we rely on.
> ----- begin -----
>
> Debian is a free operating system for computers of all kinds. It can
> replace other operating systems such as Windows and MacOS, thereby freeing
> your computer from their commercial restrictions. Debian is entirely
> non-commercial.
Perhaps this is quid-pro-quo (maybe that's the wrong term to use), but
I doubt that other operating systems would mention Debian in their
marketing materials, and although I'm not completely certain why that
is, it could be safest to follow the same approach. My sense is that
it's because they don't want to raise awareness of other options --
and in fact, perhaps that's a reason why we should act different and
_intentionally_ mention them (alongside helping with user
understanding, the intent you were going for), but I'm not sure yet.
> Debian is generated by a huge community of expert volunteer developers with
> subject area interest and expertise in the software they maintain – and all
> of the source code for that software is available for you to read, modify
> and redistribute. It receives timely security updates and continous
> improvements.
I have a slight preference for placing the "what" (the updates) before
the "who" (the community) in this case, because I think that our
updates are extremely effective, on-par or exceeding the quality (and
transparency) of what most commercial systems offer. That's something
I enjoy greatly as a user, and why I'm trying to take part (hopefully
positively) in volunteering - but the value proposition (for users) is
likely to be the experience, I think.
> Debian also distributes 63,000+ packaged non-commercial utilities and
> applications, including software for businesses, programmers, scientists,
> educators and artists.
The language here does require some adjustment, thank you (the 63k+
figure here refers only to packages in 'main').
> To learn about Debian and to obtain a copy that you can run and optionally
> install, scan the QR code above or visit the website:
> https://www.debian.org
>
> ----- end -----
Perhaps I seem a bit defensive about some of these changes; I am
likely to include them in some form in the resulting microflyer,
although as probably evident, I'm not ready to incorporate them as-is.
Thanks again,
James
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